Brothers and Sisters

Today my youngest son Alex turned four.  I have an online scrapbook of sorts that I keep for him with pictures and some comments on his antics. He had a great time at his party, but for me the day was punctuated by frequent emotional outbursts from big brother Ben - who, out of pure angst and jealousy at all the attention his brother was getting, simply couldn't control himself.  One culminating scene minutes before guests arrive:

Ben (shouting) - But I want want want (something, can't remember what!). Begins to throw himself down and start violently pulling off the tablecloth (with the decorated cake, and other goodies)
Me (shouting) - It's okay to feel angry but I'm not going to let you ruin this party! (grabbing hands off tablecloth)

Jeff, bless his heart, stepped in then. He says I just add fuel to the fire and he's right. This is days after I was blissfully on the flight back from Mexico and I wrote one of my top three priorities for the year - help kids with emotional lives (patience with anger and sadness, acknowledging and observing feelings).

I had a joke with my small group at church a few years ago - I prayed for patience, and guess what? I got lots of opportunities to practice my patience. It looks like I'll get lots of opportunities to help my kids with their emotions (and have to deal with mine in the process it seems).

Siblings are good for that - all that practice relating in the most intimate way. However painful, it's good to learn that you are not the center of the universe, even if you want to rip the tablecloth off the world as you know it.  But you also get a chance to care for someone in an open and vulnerable way. Just yesterday Ben was holding Alex's hand and shepherding him around a school field trip, in his protective and caring embrace.

I've gotten to feel that great love these past few weeks. My sister Hilary came to stay with our boys while Jeff and I got some time away. Forever grateful, I am.

And then I got a surprise from another sister.  In the mail I got a heartfelt note from my friend Gretchen, along with a fantastic owl ring "for when you don't give a hoot!" which made me laugh. Here's my second reveal which could be whispered in San Francisco about the same volume as I go to church; .....I was in a sorority.

I forget sometimes that I was in a sorority, and then those handful of women will come into my life again in a meaningful way, and I think yes, that was good. And thank you sister for that. The owl was the symbol of our sorority - and now as I wear the owl ring everyday I am reminded a) to laugh and b) that the intentional communities we create are important.

If you have siblings, what have you learned from them? What intentional communities have you been a part of or are you seeking?