Too Much of a Good Thing

I've been trying really hard lately to be intentional about creating a stronger connection with God. I've been reading more books, trying to attend small groups, and I signed up for a three-part class at church - the church's version of a membership class.

I felt really proud of myself because for the first part of the class I didn't go to a reunion event that I had committed to. It felt like I was carving time out for something I really wanted to do.

And then comes the week two class. I knew that the wedding of a dear friend was that day, but in my head I thought it was later, and that I could do both. Once I looked in my calender and confirmed the time I realized with a start that I'd miss week two to attend the celebration of dear friends.

And looking forward to week three, my parents had scheduled a last-minute trip into town (hooray!) and I'll likely see if Jeff can pick them up from the airport so me and the boys can still attend church, but I didn't want to miss half of our only weekend day with them for the class.

It looks like the membership class wasn't going to happen afterall. And I felt (and still feel) pretty guilty about my intention to go and not following through.

I really think that how I spend my time is a reflection of where I am going, and what goals I am trying to reach. But I also realized this week that filling my time with infinite opportunities won't necessarily help me reach my goal. To put it more specifically, I thought about trying to go to two church small groups this week, and briefly thought about watching the podcast for another class another night. But three nights away from the house and family will not get me closer to God. In fact, I realized it will only leave me more frazzled. Too much of a good thing doesn't always lead me to where I want to be.

One of my small groups is reading a book called "The Me I Want to Be" by John Ortberg - I think you can even download it for free on Kindle. I'm just beginning to read the book but I've gotten so much out of it so far.  One of the questions he asks is "How is your spiritual life going?" and encourages us not to measure it by any devotional activities we can cross off our lists - but by a wise man's answer to the same question:

"I ask myself two questions:
= Am I growing more easily discouraged these days?
= Am I growing more easily irritated these days?" (pg. 41)

I love this part of the book, and I've found myself this past week asking myself these same questions - Am I more discouraged? Am I more irritated? And if the answer is yes, how can I reconnect with God, now?

The answer for me hasn't always been another meeting - though an occasional one of those helps. But surprisingly it's been 1) taking a walk in nature and 2) taking the time to play a pick-up soccer game with the family before heading to the grocery store.

I'm realizing that it's the "time in-between" that's important for me now as well. Scheduling four hours of downtime on a weekend. Making time to take walks in nature, and sit on my deck. I think I need to schedule less of everything, even the "good" things.

What do you do when you feel yourself becoming more irritated, or more discouraged?