Regaining Momentum

Behold, I am doing a new thing!

So how come I am feeling stuck again?

A few weeks ago I went to a big industry conference for the field I'm trying to enter as my next career. It felt so good to take some classes, network a bit, and meet more people. I felt like I was on my way. Things were flowing, and it almost felt easy.

I had a couple of post-conference meetings / interviews set up. And then one of them fell through and I am sitting here thinking, now what?

Do I really even know enough to do this? How can I be a consultant if I am still learning this stuff? Maybe I should study more and pursue this.... next year.

I know that's really just fear talking. But it does speak to a loss of momentum. It's easy to keep positive in a room full of thousands of people with the music blaring. And now, alone with a list of things I haven't done, and not knowing where to start, I'm feeling tired.

I also realized it had been six days since I have really worked on this back-to-work project, between staying home with my sick son, and taking a great long weekend to attend my reunion. I've gotten out of the habit of chipping away at this big goal that can feel overwhelming.

Habits are powerful things. Since we've moved into our new home I just haven't remembered to keep taking my whole vitamin routine (fish oil, vitamin D, multi-vitamins, probiotics - whew!). I don't think that's helped my low energy level. So finally, I tried to get back in the habit - and thankfully my youngest son is helping me. "It's vitamin time mom!"

I think ultimately it is habits that get me through the stuck periods. They are small, deliberate acts toward my bigger goals (of health, of meaningful work, of a deepened walk with God) that I can do even if I don't feel like it.

But habits won't help me with my fear.  I realized a new habit I need to cultivate is meeting with other people regularly to gain and give encouragement - a trusted friend, a colleague in the field.

And yet as long as I believe that I can study enough, or create enough good habits, or network or share enough - I will always fall short. Because someday the realization will hit me that indeed I failed myself or others - and I didn't prepare enough. And I know that ultimately I need to bring God into this journey, especially to the things I think I know best.

Regaining Momentum = Habits + Help + Higher Power

God - in those moments when I am filled with anxiety I know it is because I am trying to hold together a world in which I truly have no control.  Thank you God for your promise that I am good enough, and that when I rely on you and not myself, I will find the peace I seek.

What new habits do you want to start? What habits have helped you regain momentum?