This week I think I hit a new low in terms of mood. I also think I proved that grumpiness is contagious - having successfully spiraled my husband out of a decent mood into the vortex of grump one evening.
In the midst of this marvelous abundance, I feel awful that I have been feeling so irritable and just plain angry. I should be happy! We are proud owners of our house in the woods, our old condo is in contract for more than we had imagined, and here I am, in the grumps.
I think it's easy for me to think that when I'm starting something new I won't be haunted by some of the things in my past. Like my irritability or feeling penned in by my surroundings. And then when those awful feelings come back to the surface I realize that I had hoped they would have disappeared in the move. No surprise that they haven't.
And here I am surrounded by boxes and chaos, and it's hard to focus on anything else. I've made no progress at all on any of my other heart's desires and goals.
I am slowly chipping away at the boxes, and trying to put things away, but I'm also realizing that my old stuff simply won't fit into the new house. I've started to slowly haul things back down to our van, and bring boxes to goodwill. I know that to get the peace I crave, I need to get rid of things. Like my Dad says "possessions are a burden". Mostly I just want four solid days by myself in the house to go through it all!
I think life is like that too. I say I want healing - but have I made the space for it in my life? Is there something I need to give up? I think God's abundance is such that we don't always have to "give up" something to get the things we need most - but I find myself so distracted in this life, that I don't always focus my attention on what I want or need most.
Where do you need to make space - either in your physical world or your spirit world?
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