Today in the midst of our busy packing week, one of the hazard warning lights went on in the car. After I had driven around for a while (wondering, is this car going to break down on the side of the highway?) I finally pulled out the manual to figure out exactly what this light meant to tell me.
It was low tire pressure. And I knew I had to deal with it, sooner than later.
And then that niggle of resentment began to creep into my head. Isn't this a guy's job? Shouldn't my husband be dealing with the car stuff?
Once when I was living in New Zealand a neighbor tried to teach me how to change the oil in my old car (the lesson didn't stick). I'm not at all confident when it comes to even knowing simple things, like when to even bring my car in to get *someone else* to change the oil. I wish that my husband would just take this dreaded job away from me.
But the reality is that our family has one car, and I'm the one who drives it 90% of the time. Jeff commutes on the train to work, and occasionally drives it on weekends, but otherwise it's me. Before we got our new car, I formed a good relationship with the mechanics a block away - since our old Jetta seemed to need a lot of help.
So when that resentment started to creep in today I realized it was less about what my husband wasn't doing, and more about the lack of confidence I had in the task at hand. I didn't know what to do, and so I'd pretty much rather not do it at all.
I decided that I was going to take this on with a better attitude - and my son Ben quickly became my partner. I told him I'd never done this before, I didn't know what to do, but we were going to figure it out. We went into the gas station, bought an air pressure gauge, and I read the fine print on the tire not to exceed 40 PPM. Then Ben and I filled each tire to about 38 in my estimate. And we celebrated!
I told Ben that I was so proud of us, and I was. The story changed - from one about me having to deal with my husband's supposed "job" to my son and I bonding over conquering something new.
What are you resenting right now? How can you change the story?
Ha! Good posting Megan. I'm proud of you too! We just survived packing up last week, so prayers for energy and patience to you all. I'm resenting my fear of technology, and not knowing how to do things on my new computer. My computer crashed the day after we moved, so I needed to go buy a new one. (Thank God the data transfer could still happen!) But I am struggling with the little changes on this, and have not yet become friends with this new piece of expensive equipment! Sigh. Changing the story: I am going to the Genius Bar today to have them fix something, and I signed up for my first One to One session even though it means I will miss the beginning of church, because I am going to change this story of "I am bad with computers." It was the only session open, but I am not putting this off any longer! :-)
ReplyDeleteBack on the tire note- our tire light goes on from time to time. I just learned that when you open the driver's side door (maybe the passenger's side too) there is a sticker that tells you what the tire pressure should be. And in my car, the tire pressure is different for the front tires to the back tires. Also, if you ever get a nail in your tire, and your tire seems low, you can take it to a tire store, and they can repair it. (Or a mechanic might be able to as well.) And it's usually not that expensive. Glad you and Ben figured it out.
It's good to move from mystery to mastery - but even better when we can ask for help. Thanks for the tip for different tire pressure for the front and back!
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