Weeds in the Garden

Today we took my mom's dog Ellie back to their house. The boys wandered out back to dig with "real construction" shovels in the garden dirt pile. And all of a sudden, I was amazed at how many weeds (and how high!) had appeared in all the cracks in the cement. When they moved into this home, I took it as my personal project to weed the edges and sidewalks that had been neglected. I worked for two days straight and was proud of how much nicer it looked after my effort.

It shouldn't have been a surprise that nine months later, the weeds were running wild all over the patio. Amazingly I hadn't even noticed them growing all this time. And now, here they were, reminding me - we're back! (And back with a vengeance...)

There are some things in my life that are like those weeds. For some of us, it may be addiction, or falling into some bad relationship patterns. I know I have many weeds in my life, but tonight I am thinking about my anger and my aggressiveness that sometimes feels beyond my control.

I was so proud of myself - I went for three nights straight being calm while my boys collapsed into screaming, writhing, hitting each other and me puddles on the floor. And then the fourth night, I am in a crazy long drive-through line at In & Out Burger, Alex has been screaming about no ketchup and then proceeds to throw projectiles my way, one of which (a washcloth) hits me in the face. I turn around and try to whip him back with the washcloth ("you missed, mom!") screaming all the while "Don't you ever throw things at me in the car again!".

The shame was only mitigated somewhat by the consolation that my washcloth didn't actually hit its mark.

Sometimes I think that if I work on something, like my anger - that it will magically go away, and I don't have to deal with it anymore. And then it will rear its ugly head like those weeds and remind me that there are some things in my life that need constant tending.

A big clean-out always helps, but anything worth doing is a practice - day by day, little by little, so that those weeds don't get too big and gnarly.

Faith is like that too. God showered me with abundance these past few months. Now that the thrill is starting to wear off the practice comes into play. We just closed on our condo yesterday, and the agent said "You both must be so thrilled!" - funny thing was, I didn't feel much. Just great, check that one off the box.  Talking to and hearing from God can never be sustained by the big steps (though they help) but all the little moments in between.

What are the weeds in your life that are plaguing you? How do you tend them to keep them from getting gnarly?