A few days ago a sweet friend gave me a gift of a hand-baked loaf of sweet bread. Oh no, I thought inside. This isn't really for me. After all, I can't eat wheat. I haven't for years. Better to stop this and have her give it to someone who would enjoy eating it. And then I stopped my thoughts in their tracks. No. Receive the gift. Just receive it. Receive the spirit of love, receive the intent and the care. Just receive.
I have a lot of friends struggling right now with what to do around Christmas. They celebrate it - the presents, the anticipation of Santa, the tree - but feel a bit awkward about not really connecting with the Jesus part. They've confided in me that they are occasional church go-ers, or feel a bit hypocritical doing the Christmas thing without the baby Jesus.
I'm always surprised how people think that they've gotta believe before they step into a church. As if the faith comes first (it never does!) or that once you're inside the church doors everyone else is full of certainty (they aren't). Or even, that if you're pretty sure this isn't your thing, that there isn't some piece of goodness to behold.
I always think about my experiments with yoga like my experiments with faith. One class I could barely keep up as the teacher moved through countless poses. One style was way too hot. One teacher led a class so relaxing I kept falling asleep. But I didn't give up on yoga. In some cases, I knew I had to try a different style. And mostly I just needed to keep coming back. But in every case, I was a bit more flexible afterwards.
Christmas is that moment of grace. Yes, it's about Jesus. But even if you're not there yet (or ever) it's about light. And however you celebrate it, there's a gift of grace to receive. An unexpected connection with the divine that pursues us in spite of ourselves.
Today I was reminded of the magic that's afoot right now. I was hiking in the canyon with my brother-in-law and son, and we saw a red-tailed hawk sitting on a low bush just off the trail. It was only five feet away, but we could have easily passed it since it was so camouflaged. Ten minutes later we saw a coyote (which I haven't seen for months in the canyon) and then a second hawk, perched on a fence just steps from us. The hike ended with a downpour (which we waited out in Safeway) and one of the most fantastic double rainbows I've ever seen.
Sometimes I feel like God whispers and I just have to stop and pay attention. Today I felt like God was singly as loudly as the first graders in the Winter Show.
Receive the gift.
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