tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20649830619597259992024-03-13T06:45:28.520-07:00BaldMamaSpeaksA year in search of the divineMeganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.comBlogger83125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-81190997423233989652014-02-09T15:13:00.000-08:002014-02-09T15:13:00.288-08:00To Begin, AgainBald Mama is still bald. Sometimes more bald than not. Currently mostly bald!<br />
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And yet, I wanted to step into something new. I have lots of ideas for the journey, and at the same time I'm going to let it evolve a bit.<br />
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Come join me.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.stepintogrowth.com/">www.stepintogrowth.com</a>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-69807704343561220802013-02-17T11:12:00.000-08:002013-02-17T11:12:03.314-08:00in GuatemalaI´m in Guatemala this week, with a dear childhood friend and a group from her church in Minnesota.<br />
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I´m blogging (with some guest bloggers) for the group at www.aldea83.wordpress.com - come follow our journey!Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-58273723505320463912013-02-14T00:07:00.000-08:002013-02-14T00:07:47.761-08:00Thoughts for a New YearIt's been a while, dear reader.<br />
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Somehow January has flown by, and here we are in the middle of February.<br />
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I'm at the airport waiting for a plane to take me to Guatemala (without the family) to meet my dear childhood friend Nicole and a group from her church for a mission trip in Coban. I know I'll be blessed far more than anyone I meet. Traveling has always given me the perspective I need to come back and refocus on things back at home.<br />
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The funny thing is, as I thought about my focus for the year, it was the opposite of travel.<br />
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My friend Zohary introduced me to the "one word" movement on her <a href="http://www.raisingtherosses.com/2013/01/my-one-word.html" target="_blank">blog, </a>as a way to focus for the coming year.<br />
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"Well, this year I wasn't even sure I wanted to come up with a resolution but then I came across the <a href="http://oneword365.com/">One Word 365 </a>movement and I decided to try a different approach for 2013. From their site:<br />
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<div style="border: 0px; color: #5a2a27; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-shadow: rgb(255, 255, 255) 1px 1px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i>Forget New Year’s Resolutions. Scrap that long list of goals you
won’t remember three weeks from now anyway. Choose just one word.</i></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #5a2a27; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-shadow: rgb(255, 255, 255) 1px 1px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i>One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long.</i></strong></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #5a2a27; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-shadow: rgb(255, 255, 255) 1px 1px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i>It will take intentionality and commitment, but if you let it, your
word will shape you and your year. It will guide your decisions and help
you grow.</i></div>
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<i>Discover the big impact one word can make.</i></div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i>One word. </i></strong></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #5a2a27; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-shadow: rgb(255, 255, 255) 1px 1px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></strong><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">365 days. </strong></i></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #5a2a27; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-shadow: rgb(255, 255, 255) 1px 1px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></strong><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A changed life"</strong></i></div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: #5a2a27; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-shadow: 1px 1px 0px rgb(255, 255, 255); vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: black;"></span><i><strong style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></strong></i>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: black;">What came to mind immediately for you when you read about one word?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">What could your word be for the year? </span><i><strong style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></strong></i><br />
<i><strong style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></strong></i>
<strong style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The first thing that came into my mind when I thought of one word was "Home." Then of course I thought I'd journal about it, and maybe pick something hard and fast like "Focus" or "Faith". But there it was again. Home. </strong><br />
<strong style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></strong>
<strong style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So here I am, trying to focus a bit on Home everyday, and I'm traveling thousands of miles away, after a busy month in which our family has traveled thousands of miles apart and together. I'm feeling a bit conflicted.</strong><br />
<i><strong style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></strong></i>
<i><strong style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; outline: 0px none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Yet I know, in all things, God is here. </strong></i></div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-755937246078260442013-02-13T23:25:00.000-08:002013-02-13T23:25:31.669-08:00Visibility into What I Don't WantA few weeks ago, I had an amazing weekend in Seattle - doing some strategic planning with my new boss and then spending a great weekend reconnecting with my friend, also named Megan. On Sunday we went to this "hot" yoga class led by this great young guy. The class was such a good balance between flow and stillness - we moved with good beats in the background, and then took a moment to be still and take it all in. Plus I kind of liked all the sweat and heat!<br />
<br />
So I wanted to recreate the magic.<br />
<br />
On Monday, I tried to do too much and ended up a bit stressed. And I ended up going on Yelp and found an afternoon hot yoga class not too far from my home.<br />
<br />
When I entered the class I got the feeling that it didn't quite resonant with me. But I gamely went on, and I started praying. "God, help me find the goodness in this." I often talk about how going to church can be like a yoga class - just because you go to a class you don't like doesn't mean you should throw out the whole practice.<br />
<br />
When the teacher told us all not to drink so loudly from our water bottles (seriously!) I prayed again, God help me find the goodness in this. And when he insisted that our feet stay on the towels, as my feet slid off again and again, I just laughed.<br />
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All the while, praying to God for the goodness.<br />
<br />
What I came away with was surprising, but real. Notice what you don't like - because that will point you to what you love, and what you need.<br />
<br />
I could list the numerous things I didn't like about the class. But I learned much more about what resonates with me. So I'll frame this in the positive:<br />
<br />
I feel alive in spaces that have a connection to nature. I need teachers who have a sense of humor, and don't take themselves too seriously. Sometimes the exercise I need most is to slow down. I need to trust my instincts, and leave when it doesn't feel right.<br />
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Needless to say, I won't be going back to that yoga class. But I did learn a lot about what I DO want and need in this journey called life, and in spite of it all, my body felt more flexible. Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-12795689968793232922013-01-03T22:26:00.003-08:002013-01-03T22:26:56.486-08:00Dreams, Not ResolutionsI had a resolution in this New Year to go to bed earlier. Day 1 and it was midnight and I was still awake. The failure chased me around all day, and frankly didn't motivate me much the next night (afterall, I have things to do!).<br />
<br />
I realized that resolutions are bound to fail - because when the goal is to "do" something, inevitably there will be days when I don't do that thing at all.<br />
<br />
So instead of resolutions, I'm focusing on dreams. Heart's desires. And every day asking myself, hopefully in a non-judgemental way, is this helping me reach my heart's desire?<br />
<br />
Many of you have heard my praise of a book that my friend Keiko sent me last year, but that took me many months before I could even open it. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Your-Hearts-Desire-Instructions-Creating/dp/0609800116" target="_blank">Heart's Desire</a> by Sonia Choquette. I love her story of how her heart's desire was to write a book, but she just couldn't get started. Instead, her immediate heart's desire was to get her daughter to sleep through the night. <br />
<br />
So instead of just resolving to go to bed earlier - my heart's desire is to have more energy, so that I can be more present with the people around me, and have the energy to accomplish my other heart's desires!<br />
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Some days (hopefully most days) that will mean going to bed early. Other days (hopefully many days) it will mean nourishing my body with food that energizes me, and paying attention to what I've eaten when I feel depleted. And many days it will mean being deliberate about getting the exercise my body and spirit crave.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-7169321731022500872012-12-31T20:50:00.002-08:002012-12-31T20:50:31.037-08:00A bit lonely on New Year'sToday I was feeling grumpy all day. In the morning because my stomach hurt and I didn't seem to be well-nourished, and then later, just tired and all-around grumpy.<br />
<br />And then it hit me. I'm feeling lonely.<br />
<br />
I have a great husband who is cooking one of my favorite dinners (stuffed shrimps), two amazing boys who give me spontaneous hugs even when I grump on them (if that's not grace, don't know what is!) and I'm feeling lonely.<br />
<br />
So I called a good friend. Then I called another. Then I texted one. Then I left another message.<br />
<br />
My friend Megan said it best "Every year, New Year's sneaks up on me." Christmas is full of anticipation and planning, and then New Year's arrives for me, with no plans in place.<br />
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I'm feeling better now. I connected with a couple of friends. Snuggled with my boy on the couch, and chatted with my husband. We'll be asleep before midnight most likely.<br />
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And next year? I'll figure out some ritual to end the year. Keiko suggested burning paper. Love it.<br />
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I've got lots to catch up my readers on this coming year - owl autopsy results, plans and dream manifestation.<br />
<br />
Wherever I am tonight, it's okay to feel what I am feeling.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-77773899979274052102012-12-22T21:15:00.000-08:002012-12-22T21:15:08.121-08:00Receiving the GiftA few days ago a sweet friend gave me a gift of a hand-baked loaf of sweet bread. Oh no, I thought inside. This isn't really for me. After all, I can't eat wheat. I haven't for years. Better to stop this and have her give it to someone who would enjoy eating it. And then I stopped my thoughts in their tracks. No. Receive the gift. Just receive it. Receive the spirit of love, receive the intent and the care. Just receive.<br />
<br />
I have a lot of friends struggling right now with what to do around Christmas. They celebrate it - the presents, the anticipation of Santa, the tree - but feel a bit awkward about not really connecting with the Jesus part. They've confided in me that they are occasional church go-ers, or feel a bit hypocritical doing the Christmas thing without the baby Jesus.<br />
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I'm always surprised how people think that they've gotta believe before they step into a church. As if the faith comes first (it never does!) or that once you're inside the church doors everyone else is full of certainty (they aren't). Or even, that if you're pretty sure this isn't your thing, that there isn't some piece of goodness to behold.<br />
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I always think about my experiments with yoga like my experiments with faith. One class I could barely keep up as the teacher moved through countless poses. One style was way too hot. One teacher led a class so relaxing I kept falling asleep. But I didn't give up on yoga. In some cases, I knew I had to try a different style. And mostly I just needed to keep coming back. But in every case, I was a bit more flexible afterwards.<br />
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Christmas is that moment of grace. Yes, it's about Jesus. But even if you're not there yet (or ever) it's about light. And however you celebrate it, there's a gift of grace to receive. An unexpected connection with the divine that pursues us in spite of ourselves.<br />
<br />
Today I was reminded of the magic that's afoot right now. I was hiking in the canyon with my brother-in-law and son, and we saw a red-tailed hawk sitting on a low bush just off the trail. It was only five feet away, but we could have easily passed it since it was so camouflaged. Ten minutes later we saw a coyote (which I haven't seen for months in the canyon) and then a second hawk, perched on a fence just steps from us. The hike ended with a downpour (which we waited out in Safeway) and one of the most fantastic double rainbows I've ever seen.<br />
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Sometimes I feel like God whispers and I just have to stop and pay attention. Today I felt like God was singly as loudly as the first graders in the Winter Show.<br />
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Receive the gift. <br />
<br />Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-18167489710701424742012-12-04T22:07:00.002-08:002012-12-04T22:07:39.312-08:00Putting Others in a BoxMy oldest son desperately wanted pink rain pants.<br />
<br />
Hmm, I thought. I let him wear a pink dress-up skirt when he was three, but now he's in first grade. As much as he thinks he wants pink pants - he'll walk into school one day, someone will make fun of him, and he'll never wear the pants again. So I decided that I'd get him the black ones, and tell him the pink ones were out of stock.<br />
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Needless to say, my guilt started running amok.<br />
<br />
And when the pants arrived, my 6-year-old demanded, where are my pink pants?<br />
<br />
So we negotiated the return of the black pants and amazingly enough he waited patiently for the pink ones to arrive in the mail. I waited with a bit of guarded fear as he showed his friend that came over his pink pants, but I shouldn't have worried. He gets to have his own journey in these matters.<br />
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At the same time, I ordered ten pairs of new pants for my youngest son -- who seems to go through multiple costume changes each day, and has an affinity for shorts. So with winter upon us, boxes of 4T pants arrived each day in the mail. He tried them on, and they fell down to his knees. Alex is 4 1/2, but he doesn't wear size 4 pants.<br />
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Alex's size has always been a sensitive issue for me. At one point he was negative ten percentile in weight, and falling fast, though he ate just as much as anyone in the family. We changed his diet and he started growing rapidly, but lately he might be lagging again. I worry that I haven't been vigilent enough of those foods that disrupt and irriate his body, and mostly I just want him to thrive. And my beautiful, energetic son wears size 3 pants.<br />
<br />
I know that I often put people in boxes, especially the ones I love. I try desperately to cram them into the space that I think they will be most comfortable, or the place I want them to be. Or I'll put a negative label on them - they are "messy" or can't pay attention.<br />
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I think I put God in a box sometimes too. "I'm not ready for Christmas yet, God - I need more time to get ready!" or people will put <u>me</u> in a box if they know I am a Christian.<br />
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"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my father's house there are many dwelling places." John 14: 1-2<br />
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God is small and big, pink and black, male and female. God is all of these things and more. And more than I could possibly understand most days, which depending on the day, makes me want to shout out in worship, or weep with the enormity of it all. What boxes has God been put in by others in your life? What does opening God up for you look like?Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-44238478218780022402012-11-28T22:36:00.002-08:002012-11-28T22:36:52.359-08:00An Attitude of GratitudeI haven't written much this week, but I've still been trying to be deliberate about gratitude out in the world.<br />
<br />
I sent 20 overdue thank you notes to the people and businesses who donated to Glenridge's auction (thank you donors!).<br />
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I sent some notes and emails to folks who have been key connectors for me - the people who have taken the time to introduce me to the people they know - and that's how I got my new job.<br />
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I sent some emails to people who I had been thinking about for years, grateful for the encouragement they've given me in my life, and in the way of God's work, they arrived at the right time, including one note after the death of her mother.<br />
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And in the midst of this, I felt stifled on this blog!<br />
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The burden of writing each night on gratefulness seemed too much - when my mind was racing with all the other things I wanted to write about. And so, I haven't written at all.<br />
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It was a good reminder that anytime anything good becomes too dogmatic - it can lose its pure inspiration and become something we just do to go through the motions.<br />
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"For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings." (Hosea 7:6)<br />
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That said, habits are good things. Waking up in the morning and saying a quick prayer. Passing a candle at dinner and sharing a moment of gratitude. And a new one I learned when Keiko forwarded me a podcast from <a href="http://www.accidentalcreative.com/podcasts" target="_blank">The Accidental Creative</a>: spending the last ten minutes of a workday circling back to thank people, and reconnect.<br />
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Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is an amazing, life-changing thing. And I've realized that one of my gifts is encouragement - I have been truly amazed this month at how powerful an influence my little words have made in the lives of others.<br />
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And so I will continue to be grateful. And in the midst of this I will begin to follow the inspiration within to write about those topics that come upon me in the moment, and reach out to people as they come upon my heart. For I desire steadfast love not sacrifice...<br />
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And one last gratitude --- for my car, so I could whisk my youngest to the ER tonight for three more stitches.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-39014052716845706752012-11-18T23:46:00.000-08:002012-11-21T23:47:15.941-08:00Grateful for DianeIn this month of gratitude, I am remembering a few people that have come along at the right time - to provide the encouragement and support I needed - including to shift me in a different direction.<br />
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Today I am thinking about "Teacher Diane" a City College teacher who taught a free infant/child development class at the local rec center. Each week she'd print out a helpful article that was great for dealing with sibling rivalry, or thinking big picture about the kind of parent I wanted to be. Mostly though she was just plain encouraging - in a time when I was sleep deprived, unsure of myself as a parent, and struggling to find the joy in the everyday life with two kids under three. Ultimately she led me to gain confidence in myself as a parent, and when the time came, encouraged us to explore co-op preschools - a journey that has changed the course of our family's trajectory - for the better.<br />
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Thank you Teacher Diane!<br />
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Who in your life has helped shape and encourage you? If they are still alive, can you call them or send them a note?Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-72611079703747043022012-11-17T23:39:00.000-08:002012-11-21T23:40:39.375-08:00Grateful for GlenridgeMany of you know that my kids have gone to a co-op preschool. This means that the parents work shifts in the classroom - so on any given day at our school there will be two teachers and between three and five parents working. Then there's *lots* of out-of-school volunteer hours too - a family job (ours is treasurer - Jeff calls it his "other" business that he runs), auction solictations and event, and other tasks throughout the year.<br />
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It's a lot of work. And when I was first looking for preschools with Ben, and had a newborn in tow, I just didn't think I could handle it. I applied to Glenridge, but didn't pursue any other co-ops, and ended up for Ben's first year at a school with really committed teachers where I could just drop off and go.<br />
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Only it wasn't the right fit. And Ben would lash out with fists flying on his (then) baby brother every day when I would pick him up. It was only during spring break, when I realized I actually did like spending time with my little man, that I knew we needed to make a change.<br />
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Since then, Glenridge has been the nexus of our family life. Through the school, we discovered the canyon. And found our new home. Found good friends and community. Found amazing teachers (and other parents) who teach us about our own parenting.<br />
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And more than anything, Glenridge has given us this brief window to pause, and treasure the wonder of being four years old in the beauty of a canyon.<br />
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Tonight, on our walk:<br />
<i>"This is socktown. This is where Jessie found a sock and it was hanging from that tree, and that's why we call it socktown!"</i> - AlexMeganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-10729908159494324832012-11-16T23:12:00.001-08:002012-11-16T23:12:35.370-08:00Grateful for GodThis post was going to be about my new career.<br />
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Last week I found a job. A job with a partner who values my input and experience, and is willing and able to let me work 10-20 hours a week.<br />
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Today I passed my exam. I am now officially a "Certified Salesforce Administrator". After being out of the working world for five years, it's nice to have an independent assessment that I know my stuff.<br />
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So I'm grateful for both of those things. A lot!!!<br />
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And I prayed to pass the exam, and asked for God's help (and the help of prayers from my small group). And over many months I've prayed for my work life - both for discernment about what direction I should take - and encouragement when I thought the door of the "right choice" had been mysteriously closed. Two years ago, I thought I could only pray to God for world peace and cancer (when I thought about asking God for anything). Troubling God for the little things in my daily world felt wrong.<br />
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And now, I invite God into a relationship with the little things. And I find I am so much less fearful than before. Thank you God for being in relationship. For giving me the courage to be at peace in your world. And at the same time have the confidence and clarity to ask you for my heart's desires.<br />
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<div class="Breadcrumbs">
<span>Psalm 27 (New International Version)</span></div>
<i><span class="versetext" id="ps27-1" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum">1</span>
The LORD is my light<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="1"></a> and my salvation<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="2"></a>-- <b>whom shall I fear?</b> The LORD is the stronghold<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="3"></a> of my life-- <b>of whom shall I be afraid</b>?<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="4"></a>
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<span class="versetext" id="ps27-2" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum">2</span>
When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="a"></a> when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="5"></a>
</span>
<span class="versetext" id="ps27-3" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum">3</span>
Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="6"></a> though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="7"></a>
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<span class="versetext" id="ps27-4" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum">4</span>
One thing<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="8"></a> I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="9"></a> to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
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For in the day of trouble<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="10"></a> he will keep me safe<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="11"></a> in his dwelling...</span><span class="versetext" id="ps27-7" style="display: inline;"> </span>
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My heart says of you, "Seek his<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="b"></a> face!<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="22"></a>" <b>Your face, LORD, I will seek</b>.
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Do not hide your face<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="23"></a> from me, do not turn your servant away in anger;<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="24"></a> you have been my helper.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="25"></a> Do not reject me or forsake<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="26"></a> me, O God my Savior.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999" name="27"></a> </span><span class="versetext" id="ps27-14" style="display: inline;"></span></i>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-24853194496761578752012-11-15T22:43:00.000-08:002012-11-28T22:06:25.186-08:00Grateful for WildcareIt's taken me many days to recover from finding the dead great-horned owl. My small group knows that I had to talk about it again this week, and show the picture to those who weren't there on the eve of my discovery.<br />
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I don't know if "recover" is the right word after finding the owl. I've resumed my normal days, and their rythm. And I'm able to see the beauty in most things.<br />
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Yet I still don't know the full meaning of the owl. I've been dreaming about people and things dying, though I expect that's just my fear talking.<br />
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And in the midst of this I am grateful for <a href="http://www.wildcarebayarea.org/site/PageServer" target="_blank">Wildcare</a>, an organization based in San Rafael.<br />
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I made many calls after I found the owl, deciding that I didn't want the body to be thrown into the trash - and needing to know the cause of death, even if it just were old age. And I realized without a doubt that the neighborhood would feel the same way about such a treasured member of the community.<br />
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I found a couple of good advocates, but most calls were dead ends - until I called Wildcare. They were the only organization within 90 miles who were willing to do a necropsy (that's the animal word for autopsy) on the owl. They have been doing research on the concentrations of rat poison and
other toxins in the wild birds that come under their care, and I'm
curious to see what they find in "our" owl.<br />
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We will need to wait another week or so (likely more?) for the results. Yet in the end, I was forever grateful for someone who was willing the accept this owl's body. Telling me, yes this life was important. Important enough to study in death.<br />
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Thank you <a href="http://www.wildcarebayarea.org/site/PageServer?pagename=homepage" target="_blank">Wildcare!</a>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-32242936786590040782012-11-14T22:50:00.000-08:002012-11-16T22:51:17.973-08:00Grateful for our trusted SittersIn November I embarked upon a gratitude project - planning to thank someone everyday, and ideally record my musings in this blog. The process has been good for me. I think I've been intentional about calling out the good in my life, but calling out the good in other people hasn't come as easy. There still have been days when gratitude has come at the end of a long day, and I collapse into bed without having expressed thanks to someone specific.<br />
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But I try not to beat myself up. Life is like that. And tonight I'm ignoring the dishes in the sink and feeling grateful.<br />
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I've tried to make a point of thanking our mini-army of childcare providers this week. We have two trusted sitters who come regularly at this point, giving me time to look for a job and build my experience in my new chosen field. And my kids (mainly my youngest, who spends the most time with them) are happy!<br />
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They are both extremely playful and get excited about daily marathon soccer and baseball and football sessions in the park. But mostly they are responsive to my kids. I don't worry so much when I'm gone anymore. And for that there's much to be grateful!Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-19920360736091874502012-11-12T22:29:00.000-08:002012-11-16T22:30:42.827-08:00Grateful for BenToday we went to a Christmas fair (already!) and there was a petting zoo. Ben spent 15 minutes lightly petting the rabbits, with the softest touch imaginable from the boy who loves swords and Star Wars and ninja (and the fact that I've learned from your books that the plural of ninja is ninja!).<br />
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Ben you remind me that life has a duality - that spirit and fight reside together with softness. This is our essence, and when I see only one from someone, you've taught me to wait, and the other will appear if I look for it.<br />
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This week you desperately wanted me to order you pink rain pants. I ordered the black ones, assuming that once you wore them near your friends, you would change your mind. If you insist, I'll return them for the pink. Your unselfconcious days of softness are likely numbered.<br />
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Ben I am grateful for you - for the things you have taught me about myself - fierce love and a recognition that people can be many things at once. And mostly for enthusiasm to be with me when it comes - puzzles are cool.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-26053386452585141882012-11-11T22:23:00.000-08:002012-11-16T22:24:07.024-08:00Grateful for AlexToday I am grateful for Alex (my youngest):<br />
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This week, every time I was cooking at the stove, you busted out the towel. Our neighbor told us that when her fire alarm goes off while cooking, she has waved a towel at the alarm to clear the smoke. You took it to heart. Now every time I have been cooking and you saw a hint of smoke (or steam) you busted out the towel and started waving it above your head - not neccessarily near the alarm, but the intention was clear. I love you little man, and you meant in your most earnest four-year-old way to help me!<br />
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For snuggles in bed, for towel waving, for puddle-jumping and pony-riding and general earnestness - thank you Alex for the richness you bring to my life and my world. I love you little man!Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-55758477803684758072012-11-09T19:05:00.000-08:002012-11-09T19:06:22.001-08:00What happens when God shows me death?I found a dead owl yesterday. A beautiful great horned owl with its wings spread wide.<br />
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I hadn't planned to be running around the canyon. Alex got a last-minute drop-in spot at his preschool, and instead of going to the gym as planned I thought I'd just jog around the canyon near our house a bit. The beautiful wild space of nature in the heart of this thriving city.<br />
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And so it was, at 10:00 am in the morning, I saw this wild creature splayed out on the grass near the ball field.<br />
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I was devastated. I knew that this owl was one of the breeding pair that had been creating their nest in the big tree near the path. Each spring I had watched the fuzzy heads of those baby owls and I would cry with pure joy. Now there might be no more baby owls. Those of you who have been following along know that I talk about owls a <u>lot </u>in my posts - like <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999#editor/target=post;postID=3640588220707525702" target="_blank">On Fear</a> and <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999#editor/target=post;postID=5780723723383121873" target="_blank">A Good Fear of the End of Thing.</a></div>
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I don't pretend to speak for God, but in my heart when I am listening, I've felt before that God has showed up in my life in the form of big birds - like when I wrote about <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2064983061959725999#editor/target=post;postID=8865984186513708601" target="_blank">The Grumpy Waiting Place</a>.</div>
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So what happens when God shows me death?</div>
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God, why was I the one to find this bird, this majestic creature of yours that I cherish? </div>
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Tonight I am filled with pure grief. Sobbing, shaking grief. I finally went for a walk in the canyon, in the pitch darkness, hoping upon hope to see an owl. But mostly I just cried. In between the sobs that drowned out all other sound, I could hear an owl calling in the distance. Just one. Not the call and response I'd heard before of two owls calling to each other.</div>
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What are you trying to tell me God? Why me, now? I can still feel the heavy body of your owl in my arms. </div>
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In my deepest unspoken fear I imagine you are preparing me for the impending death of someone I love and I can bearly think the thoughts for fear they may come true. And mostly, I feel that even in death you have a plan. Too many unusual things lined up for me yesterday morning to be coincidence. Even as I trust that you meant for me to find the owl, I can not fathom my role in this sorrow.</div>
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Last night, in the company of my small group, I stumbled upon this Bible verse in <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+3&version=NIV" target="_blank">Ecclesiastes 3</a>, which mentions animals and death. It's right after the passage that I thought belonged only to the Beatles "For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die..."</div>
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<i><span class="text Eccl-3-18" id="en-NIV-17378"><sup class="versenum">18 </sup>I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals.</span> <span class="text Eccl-3-19" id="en-NIV-17379"><sup class="versenum">19 </sup>Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath<sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NIV-17379c" title="See footnote c">c</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+3&version=NIV#fen-NIV-17379c" title="See footnote c">c</a>]</sup>; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless.</span> <span class="text Eccl-3-20" id="en-NIV-17380"><sup class="versenum">20 </sup>All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.</span> <span class="text Eccl-3-21" id="en-NIV-17381"><sup class="versenum">21 </sup>Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”</span><span class="text Eccl-3-22" id="en-NIV-17382"><sup class="versenum"> 22 </sup>So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?</span></i></div>
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<span class="text Eccl-3-22" id="en-NIV-17382">And I continue to grieve.</span><i><span class="text Eccl-3-22" id="en-NIV-17382"> </span></i></div>
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<br />Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-59913791534261978922012-11-07T11:57:00.000-08:002012-11-09T11:57:22.359-08:00Grateful for NeighborsIt's Wednesday, or it was anyhow!, and so I always think of my neighbors.<br />
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Because Wednesday is trash day. And the first few weeks we moved into our new place, our neighbors noticed we forgot to pull out our cans, and they pulled them out for us. There's pretty much nothing more humbling and inspiring of gratitude than someone dealing with my trash.<br />
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There's a laundry list of other things that they've done for us (like check on us at the auspicious hour of 5:30 pm when our fire alarm was going off - dinnertime anyone?), and I couldn't begin to list them here.<br />
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And our neighbors at our old building were just as amazing. Fixing our mailbox, helping watch our kids, taking in packages for us. Conversation and lending slow cookers (for the fifth time this year).<br />
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There's a special relationship (and need) for neighbors. People who are there, in your place, who you can rely on to help when needed.<br />
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I love neighbors!Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-83766636109545644632012-11-06T21:57:00.000-08:002012-11-06T21:57:12.224-08:00Grateful for my Small GroupI've been blogging a lot recently about my small group, and the book we're reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Me-Want-Be-Becoming-Version/dp/031027592X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1352267660&sr=1-1&keywords=the+me+i+want+to+be" target="_blank">"The Me I Want to Be"</a> by John Ortberg. I've been so blessed to have a place each week - a safe place, where we've been able to share about uncomfortable topics, our deep and personal struggles, and our questions about our faith.<br />
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We've also had the opportunity to encourage each other, and after each Thursday night I feel refreshed and renewed, and eager to meet the week's new challenges and joys.<br />
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A special thanks to Priscilla and Christina who've taken the time out of their lives to be a presence and force that blesses others.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-66548984424508354932012-11-05T21:58:00.000-08:002012-11-09T11:51:26.794-08:00Grateful for Energy (when it comes!)Today my son has been home sick with a bad fever, and "sore mouth". The poor guy hasn't even learned how to say sore throat yet.<br />
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We had a pretty cozy day at home, playing some games - going outside when the medicine kicked in and he had energy, and finally taking a great nap on our fuzzy gray couch.<br />
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We are pretty healthy all in all, and though I expect this cold will hang on for a few more days (and perhaps infect other family members, knock on wood!) I am grateful for our health, and having the energy to do the things I want and must do.<br />
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I've been thinking a lot about energy lately. One of the other moms was wondering who made my son's fantastic costume at the Halloween parade (thanks grandma!) - and mused that it could only be a stay-at-home mom, because who has the time?<br />
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I think the grass is always greener when you are at home or working. When I'm home, I wish I could just meet a friend or coworker for coffee or lunch in the middle of the day. When I'm working, I wish I had the time to just throw a load of laundry in, or start dinner before it got too late.<br />
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Yet I think when someone asks, "Who has the time?" they really mean - <i>I don't have the energy. I am overwhelmed with my commitments, my life, and I couldn't imagine adding one more thing.</i><br />
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Because when I am feeling good, when I have the energy - nothing seems impossible! <i> </i>The next time I think to myself - "I don't have the time" - I'll reevaluate. If it's something I really want to do and am passionate about I bet I can get rid of some things and make it happen. But first I need to replenish my energy stores - because with energy, all things are possible (<i>except in my case, a homemade Halloween costume - I'll leave that to Grandma!).</i><br />
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Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-88124005241742147782012-11-04T21:25:00.000-08:002012-11-06T21:52:32.869-08:00Grateful for my ChurchI am so grateful today for a place where I can go to be inspired, and challenged. Here's a link to my <a href="http://www.cornerstone-sf.org/" target="_blank">church home</a> in San Francisco - Cornerstone. I love this place!<br />
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Pastor Terry gave a <a href="http://www.cornerstone-sf.org/tv/detail/ananias/" target="_blank">moving message</a> about the conversion of Saul of Tarsus - basically he was one of the biggest opponents of Christianity in its early days, and then through a encounter with Jesus, became one of the early church's most influential evangelists. This week Pastor Terry spoke about a man named Ananias who had a role to play in this story. One point he underscored was that Ananias was open to the voice of God (though he protested the request!). <br />
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It reminded me that if I walk through life looking for mean people, I will find them (they exist everywhere). And if I walk through life looking for the voice of God, I will also find it (it exists everywhere). I wrote a blog post about this subject back in August - <a href="http://baldmamaspeaks.blogspot.com/2012/08/see-what-you-seek.html" target="_blank">See What You Seek.</a><br />
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The service ended with a song I love by <a href="http://matthewwest.com/" target="_blank">Matthew West</a> - you can listen to it through this link: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9ArVuqm324" target="_blank">"Only Grace"</a><br />
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"There's only grace<br />There's only love<br />There's only mercy and believe me it's enough<br />Your sins are gone<br />Without a trace<br />And there's nothing left now<br />There's only grace"<br />
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<br />Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-44366545193517740932012-11-03T21:24:00.000-07:002012-11-06T21:52:57.594-08:00Grateful for People who ServeOn Saturday was my son Alex's last soccer game. All season long, it was parent volunteers who left work early for practice and spent precious weekend time making sure all of our kids had a good experience, and were learning the game in a supportive environment (thank you Coach Tim!).<br />
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I realized that on any given Sunday, there are 15 people (plus!) volunteering in the children's ministry alone, so I can sit blissfully in church while they get their own time with peers and the example of other adults who love upon them.<br />
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These past few years I've come to realize that giving my money is very important. And even more valuable is my time. It takes energy and effort and time to give and to organize something the benefits others. With my money I will give something that will be spent - but with my time, I can make an impact that could last for years.<br />
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Thank you to everyone who volunteers their time to help build community and to impact the lives of others.<br />
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Where do you volunteer your time? What relationships are you investing in with purpose?Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-17305851010254133152012-11-02T20:49:00.000-07:002012-11-02T20:49:42.975-07:00I Love Librarians - What's your path to the Word?Today I am grateful for librarians, and in particular, my son's school Librarian - Winnie.<br />
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In the space of one month, my son went from doing fairly well at sounding-out and beginning reading - to *begging* so that he could read the books he brought home from the school library - and spending 40 minutes by himself digging through some pretty difficult stuff.<br />
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All because the school librarian brought in some pretty rad books (in Spanish no less) about knights and dragons and comic book style chapter books - pretty much a boy's dream (or at least mine). He no longer felt like a baby trying to read the old picture books - instead it was all about his current obsessions - superheros.<br />
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My small group is continuning to work through The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg - and my son's passion about reading reminded me of his discussion of the various "sacred pathways" - quoting Gary's Thomas' book by the same name. For example, the naturalist finds God in nature and the intellectual finds God by learning while the activist comes alive spiritually in a great cause.<br />
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God's word has so much richness for all of us - though maybe some of us need to listen to it, while some need to read quotes from the Bible in blogs, and others of us (like me) need a Bible that cross references other historical chapters so I can get a rich sense of context. Or maybe we need a bible with lots of detailed pictures and action figures (my two sons still talk about the David and Goliath story they learned in church school - and the infamous sling shot!<br />
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The passion and knowledge is there - we just need the right librarian!Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-78056920038876054692012-11-01T22:21:00.000-07:002012-11-01T22:21:14.712-07:00Grateful for my HusbandDear Jeff,<br />
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I am so grateful to have you in my life. <br />
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You love me, everyday, and for that I am the most grateful of all. You find me attractive even when I am bald. You want to talk to me at the end of the day, even when I think I don't want to talk to anyone. You want to stand beside me, and call me your wife. I am never alone when I am with you.<br />
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You are an amazing Dad. You shower our boys with affection and they bloom under your attention. You spend hours looking for lost things, and fixing broken toys - and as such, the boys know with a deep deep longing that you will never give up on them. And as I write this I know that you won't give up on me, even when I feel lost.<br />
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You are a supportive partner. Even when you don't share the same spiritual journey I do, you walk me and the boys to church, and you put the boys to bed when I go to Bible study. You drive to boys' soccer games while I get my own black eyes chasing the ball. You encouraged me to stay home with the boys when I felt the calling, and now you are patient with my job search as I seek to reintegrate back into working life.<br />
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You are a great husband, a faithful provider and a man with deep convictions of right and wrong.<br />
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But mainly you are a man who loves me, and that is enough, and will always be the best gift a wife could ever have.<br />
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I love you.<br />
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Megan<br />
<br />Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2064983061959725999.post-24043239288618917502012-11-01T22:06:00.001-07:002012-11-01T22:06:32.095-07:0030 Days of GratitudeThis fall has flown by, and though Halloween will linger on for weeks in our house (due to the bickering and negotiating about candy consumption), November is upon us. For some time I've been wanting to be more intentional about gratitude, and actively thanking people that are making an impact in my life. This month, my goal is to blog about one person (or group) each day for which I am grateful (and hopefully follow that up with a direct expression of thanks to them). Will you join me on my trip of 30 days of gratitude?Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00650532717241412788noreply@blogger.com0